I've just got back from a start-of-the-week training run. I was pleasantly surprised at how good I was feeling for a Monday morning, running straight up the hill without effort. Then a thing happened 10 minutes in.
I thought 'what happens if I fall over on Day One and get an open fracture of the shin?'
I hate it when this sort of thought pops into my head. As soon as it's sprouted, it flowers garishly into my imagination, full of blood, pain and helicopter rescues.
For the remaining 40 minutes of the run I kept a cautious half-eye on my left shin, whilst trying to distract my inner eye with thoughts of victory ice cream in Mostar, five months from now.
I mean, let's be clear. I have run in a fair few mountains and I have never taken a fall sufficient to break anything, and certainly not to open up the bones in my leg. Yes it could happen. Of course it could. But, it could also happen on any of my runs, at any time, with no regard to distance from home or my inability to grasp the Cyrillic language. This is just my mind finding new and creative ways to make sure I'm fully aware of just how scared it is.
At the moment I feel as if I am giving it too much voice, but I'm also trying to hear the kindly message. In this instance, learn the words for 'hospital please' and put the number for Bosnia Mountain Rescue in my phone. And entertain the thought of shin pads.